I wonder if the reason I am having so much trouble writing and keeping a journal this year is because – unlike last year when it was all new and I was somewhat detached – I am now intimately involved. I know all of the players – the IRC staff, the refugees – and can’t be as objective. Maybe that’s what the problem is?
Somehow, I feel a bit paralyzed. But maybe that’s because I am in a sort of a vacuum. I don’t feel any emotions. I feel very numb. Maybe that’s the survival technique that I have employed in order to cope with all that goes on in the camps. The reality of it is too extreme.